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Diva

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Reply with quote  #1 

Kendall’s character is flawed, as are all the characters on the AMC canvas. That is what makes them interesting. Some achieve growth and maturity, some regress and others just stagnate and continue to make the same mistakes over and over. Kendall IMO has come a long way from the insecure high school Kendall to the wife and mother we see today. She is far from perfect, but that is what IMO makes her interesting. Perfect characters bore me to death.

To evaluate a character’s degree of growth, I believe in two options ....is the glass half empty or half full. I prefer half full.

Kendall’s strength as a wife and mother has been tested several times during her marriage to Zach and IMO for the most part she did not fail.

Kendall showed her strength as a wife when Zach was battling the demons of his past with his abusive father. She stood by him and supported him even at the risk of her own life.

Kendall’s strength and determination to safely bring Spike into the world was never questioned by Zach, who at the risk of losing his beloved comatose wife, honored her wishes and prevented Spike from being born too early.

Even during the Madden affair Kendall was willing to accept a fake affair with a woman she knew was lusting after her husband, just to give Zach an alibi and protect him from being convicted of a murder he didn’t commit. Even when she started doubting his innocence, she did not betray him, but continued to support the alibi to the police even at the risk of being charged as an accessory for obstruction of justice. I know that some will say that she betrayed Zach by not believing in his innocence, but that does not change the fact that she stood by the fake affair alibi even at the risk of being charged herself. I for one always believed, that deep down Kendall knew that Zach was innocent but her anger at Zach’s relationship with Dixie overshadowed that belief.

Now Kendall is faced with a double crisis involving her children. I am a mother of five and a grandmother of eleven and if I had to face what Kendall is facing, I don’t know that I would behave any differently. I therefore will not sit in judgment of her behavior.

It is hard enough to be faced with such a double tragedy, but to have the additional burden of self-blame, that IMO makes in unbearable. Self-guilt is what is tearing Kendall apart now. Guilt is something that can eat you alive and render rational decision making virtually impossible.

I would not minimize the seriousness of a child’s permanent deafness. Yes, it is not life threatening, but it most certainly is life altering. To have the additional burden that it could have been prevented and your decisions caused it, must be truly unbearable even for the strongest of us.


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Reply with quote  #2 
I agree Diva, Kendall has most certainly come a long way from the girl who came to PV to make her mother's life hell for giving her up. A few years ago I could never picture Kendall as anyone's wife, let alone a mother. Yes, she is still flawed, but then again aren't we all?
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Reply with quote  #3 
Good post, Diva. I do think that at some point during this, Kendall will step up big time for Zach.  She has been bombarded with crisis after bad news after crisis after bad news since she had her first labor pains.  As a mother of two boys born two years apart, it has been really difficult to watch what she has been going through.  It is quite a lot and at this point when it is all so brand new I can't bring myself to judge her. 

It is doubly difficult because I love the character of Zach so much.  He is the glue holding everything together right now and as a wife and mother I kind of expect him to do that.  I do look forward to watching all this play out.  It has pulled at my heart strings but after Friday's episode and hearing each character give us their reasons/motivations I feel confident they Zach and Kendall will come out even stronger. 
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Reply with quote  #4 
Good post Diva.  ITA.

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Reply with quote  #5 
 
 
All good posts and I too have to agree. Zach loved Kendall just they way she was and never wanted her to change - she has changed and grown with his love and I too look forward to this story and watch them get through it all together - it's not going to be easy at all but I think they will come through stronger and more in love than before. Team Slater is just beginning. Is it Monday yet!!

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Reply with quote  #6 
Great post Diva!!  This s/l has been very difficult to watch as the writers have put distance between my favorite couple.  I have been upset by how Kendall has handled the situation.  I also have 2 children and can't imagine devoting more time to one than the other (but I've never been faced with her situation).   However, after Friday's show, I do feel that we gained some insight to her thoughts and guilt is a terrible thing. 

Kendall is a flawed woman, but as someone said, Zach knew this and fell deeply in love with her anyway.  He even stated several times that he didn't want her to change a thing about herself - he loves her for her.  I think things will have to hit bottom before they will get better, and the bottom might be in the near future.  However, I have faith that Team Slater will prevail and come out stronger than ever.

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Reply with quote  #7 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
I would not minimize the seriousness of a child’s permanent deafness. Yes, it is not life threatening, but it most certainly is life altering.

Oh, wow. You won't find me arguing with the above statements. I don't normally post about personal experiences in relation to storylines or anything else for that matter, but from the beginning this particular storyline has been bugging the hell out of me.

From firsthand experience, I can say that suddenly becoming deaf is most definitely life altering. However, Kendall needs to be grateful that her son even survived that damned accident. If she keeps acting like him losing his hearing is the end of the world, that kid is going to be affected by it for the rest of his life and he is never, ever going to be able to cope. Too much attention isn't always a good thing - especially when it's attention over something like this. If Kendall keeps acting like this, refuses to accept what's happening . . . Spike won't, either.

For fuck's sake, doesn't the kid have enough to deal with given who his biological parents are? She needs to exhibit some of this growth that people are telling me she's achieved.




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Reply with quote  #8 
No one is saying Zach's wife is perfect. She isn't.  However, she has grown tremendously as per Diva's initial post.  Really, Kendall hasn't even found out on the show whether or not Spike's deafness is permanent or temporary so how she is or treats Spike regarding this news hasn't really come into play yet. 

I have no personal knowledge or insight into such a tragedy but I would think that denial or a refusal to accept such a thing is a realistic (possible) initial behavior.  Long-term I absolutely see your point that if she continues it would be detrimental to Spike. Hopefully, through this experience we will see a tremendous amount of growth for not only Kendall but for the entire family experiencing this as well.
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Reply with quote  #9 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennZ

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
I would not minimize the seriousness of a child’s permanent deafness. Yes, it is not life threatening, but it most certainly is life altering.

Oh, wow. You won't find me arguing with the above statements. I don't normally post about personal experiences in relation to storylines or anything else for that matter, but from the beginning this particular storyline has been bugging the hell out of me.

From firsthand experience, I can say that suddenly becoming deaf is most definitely life altering. However, Kendall needs to be grateful that her son even survived that damned accident. If she keeps acting like him losing his hearing is the end of the world, that kid is going to be affected by it for the rest of his life and he is never, ever going to be able to cope. Too much attention isn't always a good thing - especially when it's attention over something like this. If Kendall keeps acting like this, refuses to accept what's happening . . . Spike won't, either.

For fuck's sake, doesn't the kid have enough to deal with given who his biological parents are? She needs to exhibit some of this growth that people are telling me she's achieved.





Kendall has grown quite a bit in the last few years, thank you very much, but she has just found out her son my be permanently deaf. Of course she's freaked out, I would be too. Spike will be fine with it because soon Kendall will be also. She hasn't had the time to digest it all. yes he survived the accident, and no deafness is not life threatening
but it's been what?? a day since all of this came out??
Kendall blames herself for all that has happened and will for the rest of her life. 

Not too get to personal, but when my granddaughter was born at 26 weeks, my daughter was told she may be deaf and possibly blind, she freaked and it wasn't until at least a month later she was able to relax about it. Turns out my granddaughter is a healthy, happy, soon to be 6 year old brat.
So you never know how you'll react to or for how long to this kind of news.
Kendall will be just fine.

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Reply with quote  #10 

Quote:

If Kendall keeps acting like this, refuses to accept what's happening . . . Spike won't, either.


I'm going to cut Kendall some slack here. She just (as in days) found out her 15 month old is deaf. Yes, she should be grateful he's survived. but that is still a loss. Losses result in grieving. Denial is the classic first Kubler-Ross stage. in addition, grieving isn't linear. You don't say, "well I've grieved that for 5, hour, days, weeks. I'm done." In addition, the stages of grief are not linear. People don't always experience them in the order Kubler-Ross outlined. It's not unusual to bounce between stages.

If there was nothing else going on in her life, her grief would be characterized as "simple." Given her history of anxiety (panic attacks); admission that she was not yet ready for Ian, ALL the stress and trauma she experienced this year, as well recent events, Kendall is a poster child for "complicated grief."  Grief counselors would be concerned if she was functioning as if there were no change.

Having said that, however, if she is still reacting this way when Spike is able to fully understand his condition, then yes, it will be difficult for him to accept.
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Reply with quote  #11 
It's all about Ian and Zach for me now.   I will cut Kendall some slack considering the tragedies of her children. If I were in her shoes, they would have 5150'd me immediately.  However, I cannot, WILL NOT, tolerate any more sadness and/or harm coming to Zach and Ian.  I'm so tired of the excuses for Kendall, Ryan, Greenlee, blah, blah, blah, blah. What about Zach!?  I just want Zach to be at peace and I will always always always be his protector just as Erika is to her children and some fans are with Kendall. 

Zach Slater has become so real to me it's as though he's a family member of mine.  I feel like I'm standing by my brother (which I do not have) when I cheer him on. Weird eh???  Oh well, it is what it is with me. I can't help it.  It's TK's fault.

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Diva

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Reply with quote  #12 

Quote:
Originally Posted by zachstruck
It's all about Ian and Zach for me now.   I will cut Kendall some slack considering the tragedies of her children. If I were in her shoes, they would have 5150'd me immediately.  However, I cannot, WILL NOT, tolerate any more sadness and/or harm coming to Zach and Ian.  I'm so tired of the excuses for Kendall, Ryan, Greenlee, blah, blah, blah, blah. What about Zach!?  I just want Zach to be at peace and I will always always always be his protector just as Erika is to her children and some fans are with Kendall. 

Zach Slater has become so real to me it's as though he's a family member of mine.  I feel like I'm standing by my brother (which I do not have) when I cheer him on. Weird eh???  Oh well, it is what it is with me. I can't help it.  It's TK's fault.

Zachstruck, please do not misunderstand that some of us who have been analyzing and feeling Kendall's pain as well as trying to understand her behavior under the present circumstances, do not have the same empathy for Zach and Ian. Zach and Ian have been in my thoughts throughout this whole s/l. I feel saddened that Spike's deafness has turned Kendall's attention from Ian, a son she so hoped for, nurtured while he was in her body and even bonded with for a short time in the NICU. I want to understand why she has turned her sole attention to Spike and is drawing away from Ian, who I believe she loves as much as Spike.

Zach has been very strong for both Kendall and his sons, but his emotional patience is wearing thin and he IMO is also reaching a breaking point. I saw hurt in his eyes when Kendall refused to go to visit Ian. He loves his wife deeply and he loves both his sons. From Zach's soliloquy we learned that he also blames himself for this double tragedy, as well as others, Ryan and Greenlee being at the top of his list. He has always respected Kendall's choices and has allowed her to pursue them. He warned Kendall that Greenlee will extract from her a sacrifice.  What Zach didn't foresee is how great that sacrifice would be. Now he blames himself as well as Kendall for having allowed Greenlee into their lives. It must be tearing him apart that he did not follow his instincts and stopped this tragedy from happening 

Zach is strong. His strength and unconditional love for both his sons and Kendall have kept him from an emotional breakdown, but he is human. He so needs someone to pour out his heart and his fears for his family and the one person who should be there for him is lost in her own living hell. How long can he hold out before he reaches his breaking point? My heart breaks for him as much as for Kendall. Myrtle where are you?

I hope that Erica, who finally has acknowledged how much Zach loves her daughter, and has been a real mother to Kendall, begins to see that this is a moment where she should also reach out to her son-in law, see his pain and offer comfort. I would so love to see that scene.

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Reply with quote  #13 

SOD online has an interview with Brown about Kendall's emotions reflecting Kassie's DePaiva's; and the strains on Zendall's relationship reflecting some aspects of the DePaivas'.

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Reply with quote  #14 
While I will admit that Kendall does grow from time to time, I just don't find that growth very sustained or interesting... and since we are discussing a fictional character, I am free to both feel that way and comment on it without worrying about hurting anyone's feelings.

Kendall has shown moments of extreme maturity... and moments of excessive childish irrationality. I only like the mature Kendall and, sadly, she is a rare sight. I just don't find Kendall's current behavior believable or interesting. The fact is that I'm watching a television show to be entertained. That is the job at hand, and I'm not being entertained when I can't buy a character's actions, choices or motivations.

If Kendall is suffering from PPD, then show me depression. I don't want to see manic attachment to one child to the true detriment of another. I want to see a woman who cannot to respond to either child... if she can then I do not believe that she is depressed. If this is supposed to be a PPD story, then it is sadly lacking in my opinion.

If Kendall is suffering from guilt, then make that guilt believable and understandable. I could much more easily understand if Kendall avoided Ian because she felt guilt for his early birth than I understand her stated excuse that Ian's going to hate her for choosing him over his brother. I require of a show designed to entertain me some levels of common sense and rationality that I may not require of real people. The real people in my life are not put there for the sole purpose of entertaining me, the characters on a television show are. Kendall's reasoning is not acceptable or entertaining, in my opinion.

Kendall's behavior on today's episode showed, in my opinion, no growth or maturity whatsoever. As has already been pointed out by another poster, Kendall's constant denial of Spike's deafness will only serve to make everything more difficult for him in coping with his disability. To reject a surgery that can restore the hearing that Kendall apparently feels is more important to Spike and his physical health without even considering it is ludicrous. To insist on removing him from the hospital to travel to another specialist, without once considering the critically premature OTHER son, is reprehensible.

Just like many of you, I am a mother and I know how I have reacted in difficult situations with my own children. I know that I have never behaved in the immature manner that Kendall has behaved, and I have held myself together when terrified for the sake of my child. I saved the breakdown for private moments with someone I trusted, far away from my children to make sure that they would not suffer any trauma from my fear on their behalf. I have been in a hospital room in labor with a desperately premature child, I have been beside the bed of a toddler just returned from surgery, I have been in the emergency room with a child whose own fear needed to be addressed more than mine. No mother reacts the same as another in these instances, but the reactions that a mother makes in times of crisis are more about the child and less about the mother. As long as Kendall continues to make differences in the way she treats her children, as long as Kendall succumbs to her own fears and prejudices, then I will be drawn out of the moment and unhappy with this storyline... as I always am when childish, immature Kendall is at the fore of any tale told on AMC.

Kendall has two children. One of them cannot hear her words of love and comfort, but can see her face, her smile, and feel her loving caress. The other child cannot see her face, her smile or feel her loving caress BUT he can HEAR her words of love and comfort. Words of love and comfort that are absolutely essential to his growth and development, words of love and comfort that are denied to him because they are lavished on his older brother... the one who cannot hear them. Kendall has a son whose very life is in peril and may not live for any length of time... and should he die, he will die never knowing the love and protection of his mother. Why? Because she is incapable of providing it? No, because she is so engrossed in her own pain and suffering that she cannot provide what either of her sons need. She has a husband who shows her over and over and over again how to be there for a spouse and two hospitalized children... yet she will not heed his example. She reacts, has hysterics, and chooses the healthiest child to lavish all of her affection on.

That is not growth -- just like her mother, she makes differences between her sons as Erica made differences between her daughters. Erica blamed and rejected Kendall and lavished her love and attention on Bianca... and Kendall hated her mother for it. Now, when Kendall finally has the chance to be a mature parent and learn lessons from the poor example of her own mother, she does the exact same thing to Ian that Erica did to her. I don't find that interesting, I don't find that entertaining, and I don't have to like it. And believe me, I don't.

When Kendall starts putting her children's best interests before her personal hell, as her husband has done, I will enjoy watching that story. But the longer this ludicrous tale of childlike Kendall continues, the less patience I will have with this show.

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Reply with quote  #15 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheri

If Kendall is suffering from PPD, then show me depression. I don't want to see manic attachment to one child to the true detriment of another. I want to see a woman who cannot to respond to either child... if she can then I do not believe that she is depressed. If this is supposed to be a PPD story, then it is sadly lacking in my opinion.

If Kendall is suffering from guilt, then make that guilt believable and understandable. I could much more easily understand if Kendall avoided Ian because she felt guilt for his early birth than I understand her stated excuse that Ian's going to hate her for choosing him over his brother. I require of a show designed to entertain me some levels of common sense and rationality that I may not require of real people. The real people in my life are not put there for the sole purpose of entertaining me, the characters on a television show are. Kendall's reasoning is not acceptable or entertaining, in my opinion.

Kendall's behavior on today's episode showed, in my opinion, no growth or maturity whatsoever. As has already been pointed out by another poster, Kendall's constant denial of Spike's guilt will only serve to make everything more difficult for him in coping with his disability. To reject a surgery that can restore the hearing that Kendall apparently feels is more important to Spike and his physical health without even considering it is ludicrous. To insist on removing him from the hospital to travel to another specialist, without once considering the critically premature OTHER son, is reprehensible.


Cheri, as usual you have nailed exactly what is wrong with this storyline. Kendall's motivations don't make sense to me - and her continual neglect of Ian just makes me see red. I still haven't recovered from her snapping at Zach that she couldn't leave "my son" when he wanted to show her how she could feed Ian even though she couldn't breastfeed him.

While it may be possible to feel guilt over favoring one child over another, I have yet to feel that Kendall ever has favored Ian over Spike - just the opposite. Instead, I've seen her enact one of my least favorite scenarios of soap females - that of the going-into-labor-screaming-her-head-off mother who endangers the very child she is going into labor with by her hysterical outbursts.

Kendall not only did NOT favor Ian at that moment, she hastened his early delivery because of her hysteria over Spike. While hysteria over Spike would be understandable in and of itself, when it comes to Kendall's resulting behavior towards Ian, if the show is trying to sell me something that is the exact opposite of what I've watched onscreen, I'm sorry but I ain't buying it.

But Kendall's recovery and giving Ian what he needs or not is pretty much moot to me because I see an underlying problem here that will infect and affect every move Kendall makes, and that infection is Greenlee. Kendall showed more emotion when she found that bracelet and reminisced about Greenlee than she ever has over Ian. When her crying face dissolved into Greenlee's crying face, there was the whole entire storyline in a nutshell. They are the two sides of a whole, and Spike is their child. Ryan isn't the problem, Greenlee is. Kendall will never have the bond with Zach that she has with Greenlee so Ian will always come second - or third or fourth.

For me to believe that Kendall ever put Ian over Spike because he was Zach's child I would have had to have seen scenes of Kendall and Zach's reactions during their first ultrasound where they discovered Ian was a boy. (Not only did we not see that, but Ian was referred to as she when Kendall showed Babe his first ultrasound picture, with Zach nowhere in sight.) We wouldn't have been subjected to all those ludicrous Fusion scenes with a pregnant Kendall acting like she was pregnant with Fusion Green (emphasis on Green) instead of Zach's child.

Ian has never been anything but an afterthought, so I simply do not buy Kendall's guilt over handing off Spike to Greenlee because Spike wasn't Zach's child. Greenlee had already tried to kidnap Spike legally, and Kendall blew that off and still did everything she could to keep Greenlee in her life, something I have never understood - how could any mother be so blase about a woman trying to get custody of her child? Answer: Because it was Greenlee. It all goes back to Greenlee. Kendall loves Greenlee more than she loves Spike, more than she loves Zach, more than she loves Ryan, and, if she ever could remember his existence, more than she loves Ian. THAT is the problem with Kendall IMO....Spike's deafness is a hurdle for Kendall and Greenlee to overcome. Zach is nothing but Kendall's - literal - shoulder in this storyline. And I'm SO SICK of him being THAT that I could just scream so damn loud that Spike would react to the force of the sound waves!

Whether he survives or not, Ian doesn't stand a chance. He can't compete with Kendall's child with Greenlee and I'm never going to see what I consider growth in Kendall as long as Greenlee is on the show.


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Reply with quote  #16 

Cheri & Christy......I'm speechless


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Reply with quote  #17 

I know all about watching a tv show or a movie and being disappointed in a character because they weren’t as strong as I wanted them to be. I finally watched the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy and Frodo was constantly pissing me off whenever he wimped out. I ranted about it to a few friends, and they were like, "Do you realize all the stuff he went through?" I had to acknowledge that was true, but it was still disappointing. I wanted him to be larger than life, and he wasn’t.

I know a lot of us want Kendall to be extra strong and a wonderful and supportive wife and a mother that makes all the right decisions – because she’s Zach’s wife. We want that for him. TPTB have chosen not to make her that way. They’ve made her more realistic. To me, this storyline is believable. Maybe it’s because of my perspective as someone that isn’t very strong.

It was a hard day when I realized that I didn’t have what it takes to be a mother to multiple children. My daughter demanded everything I have. I didn’t resent that, but I did feel overwhelmed sometimes. I knew that I couldn’t stretch out my love and my physical and emotional reserves for another child.

Imagine for a minute if Ian had gone to term. Spike would have been around 18 months or so? My daughter at that age was still very attached to me. I can’t even picture how I would have dealt with trying to be a mother to a baby at the same time as my little girl. (I know that millions of women throughout the ages have done it and done it well, including many of you. I’m just trying to give my perspective) As stressful as it would be when everyone is happy and healthy, it completely boggles my mind to think of how awful it would be if both children were in seriously ill health. I’d probably have a breakdown. I would make so many bad decisions. As much as I would want to be there for my husband’s pain, it would be beyond whatever emotional reserves I had at all. There’s a reason why stuff like this breaks up marriages, or at the very least puts a strain on it for quite some time.

And here’s where I’ll be brutally honest. If I had a choice between spending more time with a child that I’ve bonded with for over a year who I could actually touch and hold and interact with ,and spending time with a child that I could barely even see from all the medical stuff, that I couldn’t touch, much less hold, and who rarely responds to me, you can bet that in my heart of hearts I’d want to spend time with the first one. Sure, I would spend time with the preemie – as a mother I would owe it to him overcome my horror at seeing him like that and do it for his sake. But damned if I wouldn’t want to keep going back to the first one to get that smile, that touch, that look of mommy worship – something to fill me with a little joy for the next few hours. Is it selfish? Maybe. But it’s real. It’s true. It’s not as entertaining as seeing superwoman, and believe me there are times I want to see superwoman so that it doesn’t hurt so much to watch. I don’t like seeing stuff that I relate to so much that it makes me raw. I like to cheer on the strong people so that I can live vicariously through someone that isn’t weak like me. But I love Zach and Kendall, so I watch even though it hurts.


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Reply with quote  #18 

Thank you Em for your honesty and realism.  We all are different and react differently in life altering situations and that is why I will not sit in judgment of others unless I myself have experienced their tragedies and pain.


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Reply with quote  #19 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva

We all are different and react differently in life altering situations and that is why I will not sit in judgment of others unless I myself have experienced their tragedies and pain.



I absolutely agree with that statement, Diva -- when it pertains to a real, live, flesh and blood person. However, I have absolutely no problem whatsoever in analyzing a fictional character on a television show and finding her lacking.

No matter what I say or how I feel about Kendall, she cannot be offended or hurt by my opinion and she does not suffer from my lack of regard for her behavior. I think that it is an important distinction that must be recognized and remembered... only the real people behind the posts can be hurt when the line between fiction and reality becomes blurred... Kendall remains unscathed.

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Reply with quote  #20 
It's late, and I really have very little to add to what has become a very interesting thread.  I just wanted to add this, I blame the writers for this disaster of a story.  And yes, I have written them, emails and snail mails, to voice my disappointment, that the big improvements we were led to expect, have sadly proven to be just the latest chapter in the "Great Lavery Worship Fest".
Because that is all this is, Kendall must devote all her time, love and attention to the sacred Lavery spawn.  I also pointed out that I, for one had a hard enough struggle to ever love Spike at all, because of who his father is, and that this stupidity is rapidly killing any affection I have for the little guy.  It's really sad when you feel something close to hate for a toddler, even a fictional one.

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Reply with quote  #21 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emeraldax

I know all about watching a tv show or a movie and being disappointed in a character because they weren’t as strong as I wanted them to be. I finally watched the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy and Frodo was constantly pissing me off whenever he wimped out. I ranted about it to a few friends, and they were like, "Do you realize all the stuff he went through?" I had to acknowledge that was true, but it was still disappointing. I wanted him to be larger than life, and he wasn’t.

I know a lot of us want Kendall to be extra strong and a wonderful and supportive wife and a mother that makes all the right decisions – because she’s Zach’s wife. We want that for him. TPTB have chosen not to make her that way. They’ve made her more realistic. To me, this storyline is believable. Maybe it’s because of my perspective as someone that isn’t very strong.

It was a hard day when I realized that I didn’t have what it takes to be a mother to multiple children. My daughter demanded everything I have. I didn’t resent that, but I did feel overwhelmed sometimes. I knew that I couldn’t stretch out my love and my physical and emotional reserves for another child.

Imagine for a minute if Ian had gone to term. Spike would have been around 18 months or so? My daughter at that age was still very attached to me. I can’t even picture how I would have dealt with trying to be a mother to a baby at the same time as my little girl. (I know that millions of women throughout the ages have done it and done it well, including many of you. I’m just trying to give my perspective) As stressful as it would be when everyone is happy and healthy, it completely boggles my mind to think of how awful it would be if both children were in seriously ill health. I’d probably have a breakdown. I would make so many bad decisions. As much as I would want to be there for my husband’s pain, it would be beyond whatever emotional reserves I had at all. There’s a reason why stuff like this breaks up marriages, or at the very least puts a strain on it for quite some time.

And here’s where I’ll be brutally honest. If I had a choice between spending more time with a child that I’ve bonded with for over a year who I could actually touch and hold and interact with ,and spending time with a child that I could barely even see from all the medical stuff, that I couldn’t touch, much less hold, and who rarely responds to me, you can bet that in my heart of hearts I’d want to spend time with the first one. Sure, I would spend time with the preemie – as a mother I would owe it to him overcome my horror at seeing him like that and do it for his sake. But damned if I wouldn’t want to keep going back to the first one to get that smile, that touch, that look of mommy worship – something to fill me with a little joy for the next few hours. Is it selfish? Maybe. But it’s real. It’s true. It’s not as entertaining as seeing superwoman, and believe me there are times I want to see superwoman so that it doesn’t hurt so much to watch. I don’t like seeing stuff that I relate to so much that it makes me raw. I like to cheer on the strong people so that I can live vicariously through someone that isn’t weak like me. But I love Zach and Kendall, so I watch even though it hurts.


ITA.  It's a real story and a good story.  It's character driven and the writers have done their homework (with the DePaiva's and others).  I think if Spike were Zach's child and Ian were Ryass' people would feel differently.  I don't think this is about who the fathers are but a true realistic story.  Yes I feel Zach's pain and I hope he does let it all out but I can totally understand Kendall and her emotions about Spike.  Her guilt about Ian is tremendous and I think the reason she is avoiding him (as I stated fully in the post that was deleted) and seeing him hooked up to all those machines must be heartbreaking.  I do not want an easy fix to everything.  That's not good drama.  This is.
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Reply with quote  #22 
Quote:
Originally Posted by toasty2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emeraldax

It was a hard day when I realized that I didn’t have what it takes to be a mother to multiple children. My daughter demanded everything I have. I didn’t resent that, but I did feel overwhelmed sometimes. I knew that I couldn’t stretch out my love and my physical and emotional reserves for another child.

Imagine for a minute if Ian had gone to term. Spike would have been around 18 months or so? My daughter at that age was still very attached to me. I can’t even picture how I would have dealt with trying to be a mother to a baby at the same time as my little girl. (I know that millions of women throughout the ages have done it and done it well, including many of you. I’m just trying to give my perspective) As stressful as it would be when everyone is happy and healthy, it completely boggles my mind to think of how awful it would be if both children were in seriously ill health. I’d probably have a breakdown. I would make so many bad decisions. As much as I would want to be there for my husband’s pain, it would be beyond whatever emotional reserves I had at all. There’s a reason why stuff like this breaks up marriages, or at the very least puts a strain on it for quite some time.

And here’s where I’ll be brutally honest. If I had a choice between spending more time with a child that I’ve bonded with for over a year who I could actually touch and hold and interact with ,and spending time with a child that I could barely even see from all the medical stuff, that I couldn’t touch, much less hold, and who rarely responds to me, you can bet that in my heart of hearts I’d want to spend time with the first one. Sure, I would spend time with the preemie – as a mother I would owe it to him overcome my horror at seeing him like that and do it for his sake. But damned if I wouldn’t want to keep going back to the first one to get that smile, that touch, that look of mommy worship – something to fill me with a little joy for the next few hours. Is it selfish? Maybe. But it’s real. It’s true. It’s not as entertaining as seeing superwoman, and believe me there are times I want to see superwoman so that it doesn’t hurt so much to watch. I don’t like seeing stuff that I relate to so much that it makes me raw. I like to cheer on the strong people so that I can live vicariously through someone that isn’t weak like me. But I love Zach and Kendall, so I watch even though it hurts.


ITA.  It's a real story and a good story.  It's character driven and the writers have done their homework (with the DePaiva's and others).  I think if Spike were Zach's child and Ian were Ryass' people would feel differently.  I don't think this is about who the fathers are but a true realistic story.  Yes I feel Zach's pain and I hope he does let it all out but I can totally understand Kendall and her emotions about Spike.  Her guilt about Ian is tremendous and I think the reason she is avoiding him (as I stated fully in the post that was deleted) and seeing him hooked up to all those machines must be heartbreaking.  I do not want an easy fix to everything.  That's not good drama.  This is.

Okay, I have to add my two cents.  Girls, excellent posts.

If you are a bad mother, Em, I am worse than you.

You were so right about the bonding between the mother and the first born.  Before I ever got married, I wanted three children.  After four years with the first husband, he told me he never wanted children!   It crushed me.  Later, with husband two, I wanted children - more than ever.  First child born, a little girl.  Perfect!  Twenty-two months later, another little girl, perfect!  Wow!  I was on my way to the three children I had always wanted.  But something was terrible wrong!  I resented number two child.  Here I am in the hospital.  My first born can't come in.  We had never been separated in the twenty-two months of her life.  The second one took my time away from number one.  It was so hard. 

I can go on with details, but the point I'm trying to make, Kendall has bonded with Spike for months.  He is in crises.  He needs her.  Number two, may not even make it.  As said in other posts, number two can't respond to Kendall.  He gives her nothing back at this moment.  No, I'm not saying Kendall should or shouldn't divide her time between the two.  I'm saying, to me, this story line is believable and is good drama. 

(For those of you who now think I'm a terrible mother, I didn't have the third child.  I realized, mentally I couldn't handle three.  But the two I have - God, I love them to pieces.  I can't believe I ever resented number two!  She is the best child in the whole world.  It didn't take long to get over the resentment.  But for a while it was there and I truly hated it.)

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Reply with quote  #23 
I don't consider it a requirement to have personally experienced a situation such as Kendall's in order to feel entitled to comment on it.

If so, to be fair, I would feel obliged to extend that same courtesy to all characters (i.e. Ryan, Greenlee, Jonathan, Babe, Krystal, JR, Adam, Hannah, etc.), not just to Kendall.

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Reply with quote  #24 
What it comes down to is that once again Zach is getting screwed.  That's all that's getting my attention right now.  Couldn't give a crap about "Kendall" and the rest of her friends and foes.

In our world, the real world, personally I believe motherhood is a delicate, personal and private matter no matter what the similarities are from mother to mother.  

As far as the fictional character "Kendall" is concerned, I say .

Zach Slater is and always has been my #1 concern and now that includes his son, Ian.

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Reply with quote  #25 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathy
I don't consider it a requirement to have personally experienced a situation such as Kendall's in order to feel entitled to comment on it.

If so, to be fair, I would feel obliged to extend that same courtesy to all characters (i.e. Ryan, Greenlee, Jonathan, Babe, Krystal, JR, Adam, Hannah, etc.), not just to Kendall.

You are right Kathy, I guess it would only be fair to extend that same courtesy to the other characters, however I personally don't care enough about them to bother and besides I am not a con-artist, selfish bitch, serial killer, slut, alcoholic, business tycoon or psycho, but I am a mother and wife, so I would have a difficult time placing myself in situations that those other characters find themselves in. As a mother and wife I do have some experience.

Posted by Cheri:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva

We all are different and react differently in life altering situations and that is why I will not sit in judgment of others unless I myself have experienced their tragedies and pain.

I absolutely agree with that statement, Diva -- when it pertains to a real, live, flesh and blood person. However, I have absolutely no problem whatsoever in analyzing a fictional character on a television show and finding her lacking.

Posted by Diva:
 
Cheri I agree, we are talking about a fictional character developed by writers we don't always agree with, but doesn't life sometimes imitate fiction and fiction imitate life?


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Reply with quote  #26 

Quote:
Originally Posted by zachstruck
What it comes down to is that once again Zach is getting screwed.  That's all that's getting my attention right now.  Couldn't give a crap about "Kendall" and the rest of her friends and foes.

In our world, the real world, personally I believe motherhood is a delicate, personal and private matter no matter what the similarities are from mother to mother.  

As far as the fictional character "Kendall" is concerned, I say .

Zach Slater is and always has been my #1 concern and now that includes his son, Ian.


My feelings exactly!!  Thanks!!  June
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Reply with quote  #27 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathy
I don't consider it a requirement to have personally experienced a situation such as Kendall's in order to feel entitled to comment on it.

If so, to be fair, I would feel obliged to extend that same courtesy to all characters (i.e. Ryan, Greenlee, Jonathan, Babe, Krystal, JR, Adam, Hannah, etc.), not just to Kendall.

You are right Kathy, I guess it would only be fair to extend that same courtesy to the other characters, however I personally don't care enough about them to bother and besides I am not a con-artist, selfish bitch, serial killer, slut, alcoholic, business tycoon or psycho, but I am a mother and wife, so I would have a difficult time placing myself in situations that those other characters find themselves in. As a mother and wife I do have some experience.

But that doesn't stop you from commenting unfavorably on them, Diva, which I thought was your point.  Similarily, I'll comment unfavorably on Kendall's current behavior if it strikes me that way.

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Reply with quote  #28 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathy
I don't consider it a requirement to have personally experienced a situation such as Kendall's in order to feel entitled to comment on it.

If so, to be fair, I would feel obliged to extend that same courtesy to all characters (i.e. Ryan, Greenlee, Jonathan, Babe, Krystal, JR, Adam, Hannah, etc.), not just to Kendall.

You are right Kathy, I guess it would only be fair to extend that same courtesy to the other characters, however I personally don't care enough about them to bother and besides I am not a con-artist, selfish bitch, serial killer, slut, alcoholic, business tycoon or psycho, but I am a mother and wife, so I would have a difficult time placing myself in situations that those other characters find themselves in. As a mother and wife I do have some experience.

But that doesn't stop you from commenting unfavorably on them, Diva, which I thought was your point.  Similarly, I'll comment unfavorably on Kendall's current behavior if it strikes me that way.

True Kathy, I don't hesitate to comment unfavorably on them, but only because of the way they affect the characters that I do care about. I will not however try to place myself in their skin, because their characters are totally foreign to me from my experience.

I too Kathy, am not too happy the way Kendall is being written now. I don't understand it and I hope that at some point in the s/l it will become clearer to us. Right now I can only describe it as irrational emotional denial.

I am not happy with the way Zach's character has been pushed to the background and his relationship with the nuSpike made to appear as if he was not his father, which I feel that Zach truly is, much more than Ryan. Again out of our hands and in the pens of a new writing team whose agenda is a mystery. How much are they being influenced by the old guard remains to be seen.

I'm afraid that my emotional allegiance at the present time is with Ian and not Spike and I hope that at least they will give us some lengthier tender father son interactions between Zach and Ian such as we saw when Spike was born, since Kendall is being made absent from Ian's life.  They owe us this much. JMO

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
True Kathy, I don't hesitate to comment unfavorably on them, but only because of the way they affect the characters that I do care about. I will not however try to place myself in their skin, because their characters are totally foreign to me from my experience.


It's pretty hard not to filter things through one's own experience (or attachment to the character). But I'm feeling pretty detached these days -- and not because I can't relate to human tragedy. 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
  
I too Kathy, am not too happy the way Kendall is being written now. I don't understand it and I hope that at some point in the s/l it will become clearer to us. Right now I can only describe it as irrational emotional denial.

I am not happy with the way Zach's character has been pushed to the background and his relationship with the nuSpike made to appear as if he was not his father, which I feel that Zach truly is, much more than Ryan. Again out of our hands and in the pens of a new writing team whose agenda is a mystery. How much are they being influenced by the old guard remains to be seen.

I'm afraid that my emotional allegiance at the present time is with Ian and not Spike and I hope that at least they will give us some lengthier tender father son interactions between Zach and Ian such as we saw when Spike was born, since Kendall is being made absent from Ian's life.  They owe us this much. JMO


Today's scene of Zach introducing Spike to Ian was so poignant. But even I thought that Kendall should have been there too. Instead Zach is afraid to disturb her not only from her rest but from her obsessiveness over Spike, and what he probably anticipated would have been a refusal to leave Spike's room.

Kendall's dream was poignant too -- at least she was dreaming about Ian and I actually had been hoping that Zach would dream about him, but I'm fine with Zach and Ian both being in Kendall's dream -- until Kendall stabbed Greenlee -- not just metaphorically but we had to watch the blood and crumpling to the ground. Come on, writers!

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Reply with quote  #30 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
True Kathy, I don't hesitate to comment unfavorably on them, but only because of the way they affect the characters that I do care about. I will not however try to place myself in their skin, because their characters are totally foreign to me from my experience.


It's pretty hard not to filter things through one's own experience (or attachment to the character). But I'm feeling pretty detached these days -- and not because I can't relate to human tragedy. 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
  
I too Kathy, am not too happy the way Kendall is being written now. I don't understand it and I hope that at some point in the s/l it will become clearer to us. Right now I can only describe it as irrational emotional denial.

I am not happy with the way Zach's character has been pushed to the background and his relationship with the nuSpike made to appear as if he was not his father, which I feel that Zach truly is, much more than Ryan. Again out of our hands and in the pens of a new writing team whose agenda is a mystery. How much are they being influenced by the old guard remains to be seen.

I'm afraid that my emotional allegiance at the present time is with Ian and not Spike and I hope that at least they will give us some lengthier tender father son interactions between Zach and Ian such as we saw when Spike was born, since Kendall is being made absent from Ian's life.  They owe us this much. JMO


Today's scene of Zach introducing Spike to Ian was so poignant. But even I thought that Kendall should have been there too. Instead Zach is afraid to disturb her not only from her rest but from her obsessiveness over Spike, and what he probably anticipated would have been a refusal to leave Spike's room.

Kendall's dream was poignant too -- at least she was dreaming about Ian and I actually had been hoping that Zach would dream about him, but I'm fine with Zach and Ian both being in Kendall's dream -- until Kendall stabbed Greenlee -- not just metaphorically but we had to watch the blood and crumpling to the ground. Come on, writers!

Kathy I totally agree. It was as if someone was listening to us... to finally see Zach pick up Spike in his arms and take him to introduce him to Ian. It was so short, but yet so poignant and so precious. I agree that Kendall should have been there with them. That would have been a perfect moment and how often do we get perfect moments on AMC.

Yes, the stabbing was a way too much.  They should have just left it in the family moment, which would have shown that Kendall despite her puzzling behavior loves Ian as much as Spike and believes in a future. Kendall will be hashing it out with Greenlee soon enough tomorrow in real time.

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Reply with quote  #31 

Ian is my great concern now and I totally agree with Cheri and Christy.....Kendall will NEVER love or care about this child the way she does about Spike because of her love of Greenlee and Ryan. Zach is her husband, this child is their child yet his life threatening situation takes a back seat to the Spike Story....a child who doesn't have a life threatening disease and is perfect except for his hearing. I have been livid at what is happening to Ian and it only reinforces my feeling that Zach continues to take a backseat to the Rylee/Kenlee drama as he did in the original story. A preemie NEEDS tremendous love and attention to grow and survive and he needs his mother's presence to touch his spirit. Just like a child in coma the energy of his mother's love can make the difference between life and death. I will never forgive Kendall is Ian dies....never. Grown women don't let their children die.

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Reply with quote  #32 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva

Cheri I agree, we are talking about a fictional character developed by writers we don't always agree with, but doesn't life sometimes imitate fiction and fiction imitate life?



One of my biggest complaints about AMC has been that its "art" has not sufficiently imitated life, however, that was not my point.

If a real person that I know was going through a tremendously difficult or tragic time, I may not feel qualified to "sit in judgement" on the situation and would definitely, out of compassion and politeness, hold my tongue if I disagreed with his or her behavior or actions. However, in fiction that is not true. This is a genre that not only accepts, but openly invites criticism. Every day people are paid to analyze the stories and the characters and the behaviors without once walking even a step in those characters' shoes.

Experience is not the only criteria for criticism and analysis, and that is what we do every day as we comment on our likes and dislikes about AMC. I find no compelling reason to withhold my unfavorable opinions about characters because I cannot hurt their feelings or cause them harm by expressing them... whether the "art" imitates life, whether I have experienced what is portrayed or not, I have an opinion and the opportunity to express it. As long as I abide by the rules of the forum in which I choose to express myself, I can act as judge, jury and executioner to any storyline or character in the fictional venue.

I believe that I am qualified to "sit in judgement" on Kendall and this horrible storyline because I am a member of the audience for which this show is created. I am not entertained, and I intend to say so.

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Reply with quote  #33 
While I am a fan of Kendall's,,,I agree with every post on her behavior, regarding Growth and her Lack of support of Ian.....Now that being said,,,,I cannot wait for the scenes of August 20,,,I feel like she deserves everything that will be said and feel every emotion that is displayed,,,,,Zach supports Kendall through every good and bad decision she makes,and although she displayed tremendous devotion during the SS reveal. she is long in her devotion to Zach......Until she displays half of the devotion he does, I will always believe that this relationship is a 60/40 split with Zach carrying TEAM SLATER...........
 
.......and if she is having some sort of breakdown,,,they need to hurry it along because from most point of view it is as though Spike is the more important one..........
 
 
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Reply with quote  #34 
I have to share!

Alicia Minshew has been named SOD, SOW and SID Performer of the week!! Great job!!


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Reply with quote  #35 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny
I have to share!

Alicia Minshew has been named SOD, SOW and SID Performer of the week!! Great job!!

Congrats to Alicia!  She deserves it!  How about her ruggedly handsome co-star?  He's been doing a great job as well.


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Reply with quote  #36 
Quote:
Originally Posted by flamom05
Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny
I have to share!

Alicia Minshew has been named SOD, SOW and SID Performer of the week!! Great job!!

Congrats to Alicia!  She deserves it!  How about her ruggedly handsome co-star?  He's been doing a great job as well.

That goes without saying.    However, it was nice to see AM get a few "At-A-Girl's" for a change.

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Reply with quote  #37 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny
Quote:
Originally Posted by flamom05
Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny
I have to share!

Alicia Minshew has been named SOD, SOW and SID Performer of the week!! Great job!!

Congrats to Alicia!  She deserves it!  How about her ruggedly handsome co-star?  He's been doing a great job as well.

That goes without saying.    However, it was nice to see AM get a few "At-A-Girl's" for a change.

Sandi and Granny, thank you for posting this information.  Alicia so deserves to be finally recognized by the soap media for her wonderful talent and it goes without saying that Thorsten is doing a phenomenal job. AMC would be at the bottom of the ratings if it wasn't for the two of them. 

Congratulations Lish !!! 

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Reply with quote  #38 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny
Quote:
Originally Posted by flamom05
Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny
I have to share!

Alicia Minshew has been named SOD, SOW and SID Performer of the week!! Great job!!

Congrats to Alicia!  She deserves it!  How about her ruggedly handsome co-star?  He's been doing a great job as well.

That goes without saying.    However, it was nice to see AM get a few "At-A-Girl's" for a change.

Awww it should never go without saying that TK is the Absolute BEST actor!


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Reply with quote  #39 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary
Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny
Quote:
Originally Posted by flamom05
Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny
I have to share!

Alicia Minshew has been named SOD, SOW and SID Performer of the week!! Great job!!

Congrats to Alicia! She deserves it! How about her ruggedly handsome co-star? He's been doing a great job as well.

That goes without saying. However, it was nice to see AM get a few "At-A-Girl's" for a change.

Awww it should never go without saying that TK is the Absolute BEST actor!



Thorsten Kaye.  Oh yeah he's that GREAT ACTOR who gets 10 seconds of air time and keeps everyone watching but hey, we get Ryass Lavery for 50 minutes.  Now that's must see TV. 

Do I sound bitter?
jam

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Reply with quote  #40 

[

Thorsten Kaye.  Oh yeah he's that GREAT ACTOR who gets 10 seconds of air time and keeps everyone watching but hey, we get Ryass Lavery for 50 minutes.  Now that's must see TV. 

Do I sound bitter?

Why yes, you sound very bitter.  Join the club!!  LOL!!

While I am happy for AM getting "Performer of the Week",  it just saddens me that TK seems to be being overlooked.  AM has been good, but TK has been outstanding.  I've even noticed that Carolyn Hinsley has not mention this storyline at all in her "It's Only My Opinion Column."  I keep waiting for her to praise TK, but nothing.  SOD is the only mag I get so I don't know if I am missing anything, but TK needs to be recognized.  For me, he is the only reason this storlying is working.  June
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Reply with quote  #41 
 
 
I am delighted that Lish is getting lots of attention - she so deserves it BUT TK should also - without him by her side this story would not work. As for Ryan and his brother - I just don't understand the love from Frons and the fact that HE is hosting Who wants to be a Soapstar? is a laugh. JMO
 
Now do you really want to know how I feel!!!!

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